So, I went to see Miami Vice this
evening. They say that the success or failure of this movie will be the success
or failure of that eejit face of
It's like it doesn't know what it wants to do with itself. Apart from the fact that a lot of the stuff in the trailer didn't make it into the movie proper (ever a bad sign of indecision on the cutting room floor), the movie is heavy on crap dialogue, predictable story, the usual clich馘 Columbian drug crap... and sex. Lots and lots of wannabe sex scenes that don't drive the story forward and which look like they were shoved in after a test audience grew so weary of the film that the producers decided that a bit of titillation every fifteen minutes is required to keep the theatres from emptying before the movie reaches its rather dull and generic gun battle for an ending.
I say said nudie scenes are half-assed as basically that's about all you get - half a bare female rear, the flash of a nipple, a bit of groping and bobs your uncle. It doesn't move the story forward, it's just thrown in for the sake of it.
I'd suggest that instead of going to see this movie you should go out and rent a good action thriller about the drugs trade, preferably with camp Columbian accents featuring apace, and an even better porno flick. Watch them one after another, or stop and start each at the appropriate moments to blend them in. You now have the entire story of Miami Vice done better and with more interesting sex scenes.
If you must go to see this then find a showing that's not packed and go with somebody who has a dark enough sense of humour to be capable of playing wisecrack tennis with you all the way through. This is one of those films that can only really be enjoyed if you have the opportunity to rip it apart with some good old fashioned wit and dry humour.
